We'll Do It For Justin, Man

Twins 7, Braves 3
Twins 6, Braves 0

Oh dear God, Carlos Silva. That was absolutely beautiful. Breathtaking. Amazing. Astounding. Beyond compare. It's almost like gazing at Jason Bartlett for hours at a time. That would make a very, VERY happy Kayla.

When the game ended, I was literally in tears. But not because Silva's pitching was beautiful. As true of fan as I am, and although I enjoy watching good pitching, nothing brings a tear to my eye like Jason Bartlett.

I'm already aware that I'm a loser, but at the end of the game, when Silva was celebrating and high-fiving his fellow teammates, I grinned with glee when I saw tall socked J. Bart waltzing along after the likes of Michael Cuddyer and Justin Morneau. And when he smiled at Carlos in congratulatory terms, awkwardly putting an arm around his back in a half man-hug, half I'm-not-sure-if-I-want-to-hug-you-but-I'm-so-nice-I-will-nice-pitching-tonight hug, I started crying because of the following:
1.) I had just got done reading a 300-something page book about a teenager like me who was having a very, very bad time with her social life (define social life: boyfriend, friends, jocks, preppy girls who ruin lives!);
2.) Two babies were born to the Twinkies players, of course! Isn't that always something that brings a tear to someone's eye?
3.) ... Jason Bartlett is beautiful, plain and simple.
I'm not sure if I cried for about 30 seconds because of the fact that I haven't cried in a good while or because it was funny. Jason had that look on his face that was like.. classic. Maybe I'm overreacting, but it was hilarious in it's own way. Probably because I look for these types of things during pre-game, post-game, during the game shows. You know.

Anyways. Justin Morneau took the words out of every Twins' fan's mouth during Qwest Twins Live*. "Maybe he should have a baby every time he pitches," The Canadian chuckled with chipper Marney Gellner after she interviewed Papa Silva himself. Marney, although laughing, countered with a rather absurd, grotesque comment that was along the lines of "I don't think that is possible, Justin. I'm not sure how you do it up there in the Canadian Wilderness, but down here, we just eat Dome Dogs, drink beer, and pop out children every few years."

The game was really anything Twins fans would like to call baseball. Our bats have "come alive!" and Ron Coomer's chuckling in his marshmallow suit again. Bert and Dick are giving delightful commentary and the minority of the starting lineup are now wearing their socks the correct way again. Maybe TBL gave them a swift kick in the rump or something. Or Bat-Girl**, undercover, gave them a pep talk. I can see it now...

BG**: Yes. Silva, Rincon. Meet BabyDash. This is what your child will turn into in a few years. This little screaming horror that you, yourself, created. But you will love this child unconditionally, despite the fact you might need to wear makeup to cover the bags under your eyes.
Silva: Si.
Rincon: Yes.
BG: I wish you luck with your babies. Really, I do. I speak for all of Twins nation when I say, with all due respect, "I don't care how much Lil Justin or Rafie R. cry, I want you to pitch spectacularly during the next game."
Silva: Si. I will do for Lil Justin.
Rincon: Yes.

Oh! And before I forget: Lew Ford? I think you should smile more often. That home run was a very good excuse to smile, as was that awesome swing + miss at the end. In whatever inning that was.

* = TRADEMARK OF FSN AND WHATEVER ELSE. Don't sue me, please.
** = Bat-Girl.com.. the best Twins blog ever. Recently deceased. The least I can do is mention her, right? I don't care if it's funny.